I have another post coming (soon?) that will talk more in-depth about self-esteem and self-worth. But, right now, I want to briefly talk about affirmation…and giving it away.
For this post I’m not going to go into detail about how I know this or why it’s important. But, I know that some of you out there will understand the need for constant, regular affirmation and reassurance as to your purpose and desirability…and the push to continue breathing.
If you ever need reassurance – that you have purpose, that you should continue breathing, that you should keep fighting the good fight, that YOU ARE WORTHY – I’m your go-to girl.
If I have to set a reminder to talk to you every hour on the hour and reassure you, I would do that. Whether you need to be told you’re loved, you’re needed, you’re beautiful/handsome, you’re special, you’re smart, or simply that you do have a purpose even if you don’t know what it is, I WILL TELL YOU. I will never tire of it, never be annoyed that you need it or ask for it, and I will never ever deny you that affirmation, even if I’ve told you every hour for a week, a month, a year, the rest of my life. I will ALWAYS tell you.
“Why?” (I’m sure you’re asking.)
For those closest to me, it’s well-known that I have a lack of self-esteem sometimes. And for those absolutely dear to me and who I trust with all my secrets, it’s known that sometimes it’s really more of a self-worth issue. Yes, self-worth. That feeling that you don’t have a purpose, a reason to go on, a reason for others to want you around. That you simply aren’t worthy of being on this planet.
And, being brutally honest, there are days when I truly need constant reassurance that I am needed, wanted, important, special. I try to push past that feeling as quickly as I can but some days it’s harder than others. And I try to do it on my own but after a literal lifetime of these feelings, it can feel nearly impossible to overcome. So, yes, I depend on others, particularly those who know me best, to tell me regularly that I am loved. Needed. Desired. Beautiful. Sexy. Because with those reminders, I can get back on my feet, get my brain straightened out, and remind myself of these positive words and that I do, indeed, have a purpose.
And because I understand this feeling all too well and I can see people’s frustration with my “neediness”, I try to always offer those affirmations to others when they’re in need – whether they ask or not.
It is not, in any way, a bad thing to need these affirmations or reassurances – at least not in my book. Whether it’s a new feeling for you or you’ve dealt with it for a lifetime, you’ve gone through something that makes you doubt yourself, your reason for being, your worthiness to continue existing in the universe. If all you need is a verbal reminder to keep you putting one foot in front of the other, I don’t see how anyone could deny that. If all you need is a nudge in the right direction – a push back onto the path of self-acceptance – that’s really not too much to ask of another human being.
And you have my promise – if you need that constant reassurance and you can’t get it anywhere else, come to me. Write me a comment, send me an email, tweet me, whatever. I will respond and I will keep responding as long as you need. XO – T.
PS. If you find yourself on the other end of the request – if someone asks YOU for affirmation or reassurance – please consider giving it. Please know that if they’re asking you for affirmation and reassurance, they probably trust your word and your love – please continue to give it to them. It doesn’t hurt you to say something loving and it could help them immensely. And if they ask you for it every day or multiple times ask to confirm your words, it’s probably a situation of “It’s not you, it’s me.” It’s not that the requester doubts your veracity, your character or your love. They, more than likely, doubt their own worthiness to receive such love and support. If you do indeed love them, why not help build them up rather than make them doubt themselves more?